Tuesday, September 2, 2008

:::BREAKING NEWS::: Sarah Palin Abducted!

Yes, fellow DDs it's true! Sarah Palin once fished without a fishing license! Oh the shame! The brazenness of such a horrific offense! How can the Republican party continue forward with this nominee after such a revelation? It spells sure disaster in November! Shriek-shriek! Save the children! (It is after all, all about "the chillin's").

And, now this! Sarah Palin has been abducted by Aliens and replaced with an automatron android! And, in an astonishing lack of good judgment and decision-making, the McCain people fell for the extraterrestrial ruse! They just didn't do enough vetting. If they had, they would have known that she's not her but that she's an "it". They rushed to a premature political judgment instead of thoughtfully considering what's best for the country! BTW, the Alien endorsed Obama.

How friggin' absurd do these lefties have to get? (I mean, other than usual.)

Let's review: Sarah Palin is unqualified to be the VP and, by extension, John McCain is unqualified to be POTUS because ...

Sarah Palin, once fished w/o a license. Well, friggin' string her up and flog her with a cat-o-nine. That's unlike, I dunno, BHO admitting to nosin' some toot back in the 'hood.

Sarah Palin's hubby, the "First Dude" (who is an Honorary WPBCHQer, we love the guy!), twenty-some years ago got a DUI. It's friggin' Alaska, man - everybody has one! WTF else do you do in Alaska besides hunt, fish, and drink? Don't recall anybody on the left dinkin' any number of Dem pols who got pinched for being hammered. But that's just twice as bad as having, what?, $90K in payola wrapped up in your frickin' freezer.

(BTW, C'mon over, First Dude, we always got the blender ready! We'll talk racin' and Moose.)

Sarah Palin's daughter is "in a family way" ... and ***Gasp*** unwed. Um, did anybody on the left get this excited when Dick "Satan Himself" Cheney's unwed lesbo daughter and her love buddy had a baby? Nope, don't think so. They're "progressive" and in touch with the expanding definition of "family" that all truly enlightened people embrace.

McCain, of course, is an incompetent boob for not properly vetting this woman. Clearly, he should have known that the whole fishing license thing was going to be his "Eagleton Moment". And, we all know what the whole DUI thing did for W. (Besides locking down the Frat vote, that is.) The whole John Edwards "love child" thing really did him in, huh? Speaking fee now up over $65K for his next little gig. But again, it's the left. They get a pass because they're enlightened.

Dudes and Dudettes, this is so friggin' not a big deal. But the lefties will have us believe that this ***woman*** is so not qualified to be the Veep - when even the most chauvinistic dolt here in the WPBCHQ can't think of a single reason not to just love this gal. We pointed out in an earlier post that she's hot, she's smart, and she hunts Moose.

According to the Lefties: She's a freak of nature!!! No, really? I'd say she's the perfect woman. Smokin' hot, young, articulate and defines gun control as the "eight steady hold factors" ... and did I mention, she hunts Moose.

The lefties are so afraid that this gal might actually be the first woman elected to the Veep spot, and not Hillary, that they just can't stand it. It's only cool when the "Black" guy or the woman is a progressive (Witness the abuse Michael Steele got). The idea that a conservative, mother-of-5, who likes "God, Guns, and the American Way" could get there first, and worse yet, actually do the job! Well, that's just not possible! She simply cannot be allowed to accede to the second highest office in the land.

The BOJoe campaign will have to be extremely careful about letting this get too far out of hand. The backlash will be swift and deadly if they do. Frankly, I think it's gonna be a hoot to watch them try to tap dance around this one.

We need to stock up on ice and mixers, man. It's gotta be a long night comin' in November.

Read more about Palin Crime Spree here
(Aside from being identified as "Susan" Palin, it's pretty damning stuff)

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