dit-da-dit-da-dit-dit ((( Doing his best Walter Winchell impersonation, our erstwhile Dumpster Diving Correspondent, Gonz O. Defenestrater, brings you this late breaking news ... ))) da-dit-da-dit-da-dit
Headline: After Moose Miss, Guvs Hubby Demands "Do-Over" or Have Hunting Permits Revoked. Allegations being Investigated. Indictment may be Forthcoming. dit-da-dit ...
Dateline, Gnome: This reporter has learned the hunting partner of the third cousin of Governor Palin's sophomore year basketball teammate has told investigators that 14 years ago the Governor's husband, the "First Dude", once missed a "gimme shot" on a Caribou. dit-da-ditt-ditt ...
Speaking from an undisclosed location, and through an interpreter, the gentleman, identified as Suinnak "Buckshot" Kassuq, 49, of Kotzebue, said that he was certain that the do-over was coerced and that their hunting permits would be revoked if the "Dude didn't get the mulligan", even though the Governor wasn't yet the Governor. "Eh, we got long memories up here, eh" said Mr. Kassuq. "I didn't know that she wouldn't be the Governor, eh?" da-dit-dit ...
This bombshell revelation comes just days after it was exposed that the Governor herself had, before becoming the Governor, once fished without a permit. The embarrassing information was leaked to several reporters and three writers for "Alaskan Outdoorsman" and "The Hook & Bullet Almanac", which initially published the allegations. dit-da-dit ...
Reached for comment, strategist and long-time observer Bob McKenzie, told this reporter that "Kassuq is a nob, eh", adding "the hoser wouldn't pass up the opportunity to make a coin, eh?" This reporter has no idea what that means, but it must mean something deep and esoteric. McKenzie's brother, Doug, proprietor of Great White North Travel and Leisure, and an aquaintance of Kassuq, offered this assessment: "Hey, take off, eh. The guy can't even skate." dit-da-dit ...
Despite the lack of any credibility, and shunning even the pretense of objectivity and professional journalistic integrity, the New York Times will devote the entire front page of Thursday's edition to the brewing scandal. dit-da-dit-da-dit-dit ...
More as this story continues to develop ... This is Gonz O. Defenestrater reporting and signing off. Good night, and Good Luck. dit-da-dit-da-ditty-dit-dit.
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