This Just In ... Weekly World News says Obama gets the Alien Endorsement!

This just in from the "Too Many Recreational Drugs as a Youth" File . . .


Under the Headline "OK, This Election is Basically Over!" New York Mag breaks the story that the Space Alien has endorsed BHO and that former NY Mayor David Dinkens will endorse BHO in Denver this week.

Hey, we don't make this stuff up.

BTW, the rumor that I was abducted by aliens and that they conducted radical experiments on my brain is completely fabricated. All they wanted was some of our unique recipes for frozen blender drinks.

Only in Urban America: "dem stiletto wearin' 'ho's beat my babies"

This just in from the Smoking Gun, Dateline: Florida

AUGUST 8--Florida cops are searching for members of a girl gang that attacked two teenagers with high-heeled shoes, including an eight-inch brown stiletto. The assault occurred early this morning outside Club Crunk, a Fort Pierce nightspot that had refused admission to the victims, sisters aged 18 and 17 (the pair was out celebrating the older sibling's birthday). According to a Fort Pierce Police Department report, the sisters told cops that the girl gang "approached them...and began punching and kicking." The sisters, who identified their assailants as members of a group known as "The Rock Star Girls" and "The Cheerleaders," reported that three of the assailants removed their shoes and began beating them with the oversized heels. One attacker, swinging a silver shoe with a six-inch heel, remarked, "B, I am gonna kill you." The report adds, "'B' is street language for the English noun 'Bitch.'" The document, a copy of which you'll find below, notes that the mother of the victims had called 911 after her daughters were battered and told responding officers, "Look at my babies, they were beaten at the club by like 30 hoes."

This gives new meaning to "Getting Hammered"

Well fellow Flacks, hacks, and Dumpster Divers, this is one for the Hall of Fame, and since it Thursday, the Official Start of the Weekend Party here at WPBC HQ, we thought we'd give you something to chat about over a cocktail tonight.

You really have to read this. I can't believe that the arresting officer in this matter could "Miranda" this guy with a straight face.

I completely lost it about the "motor oil" (you'll see what I mean). Times like this make you wish you had a camera! This is one sick dude, but you just can't pass up the opportunity to have a laugh at this space-waster's expense. The Police Report is absolutely the most hysterical thing I have ever read. You really have to appreciate these Police Officers ability to describe the scene so "deftly" - if it were you humble Dumpster Diver, it would have been much less circumspectly described - Hats off to the Fort Wayne PD.

The only thing better would have been to call in for an assist from the HazMat guys at DNR or something ... need to clean up that oil spill, right? Hell, I woulda called in the Fire Department and the Carpenter's Union too.

Seriously fellow party-goers . . . Enjoy!

Here's one for the Weird File. A Japanese company uses a unique marketing tool that you just have to see to believe.

Brought to you by the same people who do those odd anime toons on Saturday, this has got to be a hot seller. I just don't think it will fly here in the Midwest. (What with all the flap over Victoria's Secret window displays and all.)

Fellow hacks, can we get this into a political campaign office somehow? I mean stress balls are OK, Maalox is a given, but putting one of these things in the Chief Strategerist's office would be cool.

H/T Weird News