Showing posts with label Palin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Palin. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Leave it to Spangle ... Must see TV.

View the video here. We're still laughing too hard to even comment.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Good Evening Mr. & Mrs. America, and all the Ships at Sea. Here now is the News!

dit-da-dit-da-dit-dit ((( Doing his best Walter Winchell impersonation, our erstwhile Dumpster Diving Correspondent, Gonz O. Defenestrater, brings you this late breaking news ... ))) da-dit-da-dit-da-dit


Headline: After Moose Miss, Guvs Hubby Demands "Do-Over" or Have Hunting Permits Revoked. Allegations being Investigated. Indictment may be Forthcoming.
dit-da-dit ...


Dateline, Gnome: This reporter has learned the hunting partner of the third cousin of Governor Palin's sophomore year basketball teammate has told investigators that 14 years ago the Governor's husband, the "First Dude", once missed a "gimme shot" on a Caribou. dit-da-ditt-ditt ...

Speaking from an undisclosed location, and through an interpreter, the gentleman, identified as Suinnak "Buckshot" Kassuq, 49, of Kotzebue, said that he was certain that the do-over was coerced and that their hunting permits would be revoked if the "Dude didn't get the mulligan", even though the Governor wasn't yet the Governor. "Eh, we got long memories up here, eh" said Mr. Kassuq. "I didn't know that she wouldn't be the Governor, eh?" da-dit-dit ...

This bombshell revelation comes just days after it was exposed that the Governor herself had, before becoming the Governor, once fished without a permit. The embarrassing information was leaked to several reporters and three writers for "Alaskan Outdoorsman" and "The Hook & Bullet Almanac", which initially published the allegations. dit-da-dit ...

Reached for comment, strategist and long-time observer Bob McKenzie, told this reporter that "Kassuq is a nob, eh", adding "the hoser wouldn't pass up the opportunity to make a coin, eh?" This reporter has no idea what that means, but it must mean something deep and esoteric. McKenzie's brother, Doug, proprietor of Great White North Travel and Leisure, and an aquaintance of Kassuq, offered this assessment: "Hey, take off, eh. The guy can't even skate." dit-da-dit ...

Despite the lack of any credibility, and shunning even the pretense of objectivity and professional journalistic integrity, the New York Times will devote the entire front page of Thursday's edition to the brewing scandal. dit-da-dit-da-dit-dit ...

More as this story continues to develop ... This is Gonz O. Defenestrater reporting and signing off. Good night, and Good Luck. dit-da-dit-da-ditty-dit-dit.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

:::BREAKING NEWS::: Sarah Palin Abducted!

Yes, fellow DDs it's true! Sarah Palin once fished without a fishing license! Oh the shame! The brazenness of such a horrific offense! How can the Republican party continue forward with this nominee after such a revelation? It spells sure disaster in November! Shriek-shriek! Save the children! (It is after all, all about "the chillin's").

And, now this! Sarah Palin has been abducted by Aliens and replaced with an automatron android! And, in an astonishing lack of good judgment and decision-making, the McCain people fell for the extraterrestrial ruse! They just didn't do enough vetting. If they had, they would have known that she's not her but that she's an "it". They rushed to a premature political judgment instead of thoughtfully considering what's best for the country! BTW, the Alien endorsed Obama.

How friggin' absurd do these lefties have to get? (I mean, other than usual.)

Let's review: Sarah Palin is unqualified to be the VP and, by extension, John McCain is unqualified to be POTUS because ...

Sarah Palin, once fished w/o a license. Well, friggin' string her up and flog her with a cat-o-nine. That's unlike, I dunno, BHO admitting to nosin' some toot back in the 'hood.

Sarah Palin's hubby, the "First Dude" (who is an Honorary WPBCHQer, we love the guy!), twenty-some years ago got a DUI. It's friggin' Alaska, man - everybody has one! WTF else do you do in Alaska besides hunt, fish, and drink? Don't recall anybody on the left dinkin' any number of Dem pols who got pinched for being hammered. But that's just twice as bad as having, what?, $90K in payola wrapped up in your frickin' freezer.

(BTW, C'mon over, First Dude, we always got the blender ready! We'll talk racin' and Moose.)

Sarah Palin's daughter is "in a family way" ... and ***Gasp*** unwed. Um, did anybody on the left get this excited when Dick "Satan Himself" Cheney's unwed lesbo daughter and her love buddy had a baby? Nope, don't think so. They're "progressive" and in touch with the expanding definition of "family" that all truly enlightened people embrace.

McCain, of course, is an incompetent boob for not properly vetting this woman. Clearly, he should have known that the whole fishing license thing was going to be his "Eagleton Moment". And, we all know what the whole DUI thing did for W. (Besides locking down the Frat vote, that is.) The whole John Edwards "love child" thing really did him in, huh? Speaking fee now up over $65K for his next little gig. But again, it's the left. They get a pass because they're enlightened.

Dudes and Dudettes, this is so friggin' not a big deal. But the lefties will have us believe that this ***woman*** is so not qualified to be the Veep - when even the most chauvinistic dolt here in the WPBCHQ can't think of a single reason not to just love this gal. We pointed out in an earlier post that she's hot, she's smart, and she hunts Moose.

According to the Lefties: She's a freak of nature!!! No, really? I'd say she's the perfect woman. Smokin' hot, young, articulate and defines gun control as the "eight steady hold factors" ... and did I mention, she hunts Moose.

The lefties are so afraid that this gal might actually be the first woman elected to the Veep spot, and not Hillary, that they just can't stand it. It's only cool when the "Black" guy or the woman is a progressive (Witness the abuse Michael Steele got). The idea that a conservative, mother-of-5, who likes "God, Guns, and the American Way" could get there first, and worse yet, actually do the job! Well, that's just not possible! She simply cannot be allowed to accede to the second highest office in the land.

The BOJoe campaign will have to be extremely careful about letting this get too far out of hand. The backlash will be swift and deadly if they do. Frankly, I think it's gonna be a hoot to watch them try to tap dance around this one.

We need to stock up on ice and mixers, man. It's gotta be a long night comin' in November.

Read more about Palin Crime Spree here
(Aside from being identified as "Susan" Palin, it's pretty damning stuff)

Frankly, I'm disgusted with modern politics...

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the left started out the weekend by spreading the rumor that Sarah Palin was "covering up" for her daughter, launching the speculation that Mrs. Palin was actually pretending to be the mother of her daughter's child. In fact, it turns out, that the 17 year old daughter is pregnant and unwed.

I cannot count the number of people that I know that have faced similar family problems. Fortunately, they didn't have their private family matters splashed all over TV, newspapers, and the Internet. Since when does this particular private family matter have any bearing on the public debate? I might be able to buy it if there was some discrepancy between the Palin's words and deeds. But to me, actions speak louder than words and the young woman is "doing the right thing" and taking responsibility for the child. Apparently, the father, is doing the same. Case closed.

But this heinousness of this diatribe from the left, the hatefulness, and the disregard for even the minimal civility due another human being leads me to wonder if there isn't a bigger systemic problem with the way our political and public figures are treated.

I know, somebody is saying "Hey, these folks signed up for this." It's the same argument that the "Hollywood" types make regarding the paparazzi. But since when did being someone who is "in the public eye" mean that you no longer get to have any privacy at all? Does offering to do public service come with the requirement that you can't have personal problems, family crisis, or errors in judgment? If so, then we really are in a bunch of trouble. All of us falls short, some more than others, and none of us are perfect.

I am aching to have a real debate on the important issues that are facing the country. To me, matters of war and the global threat from nuclear proliferation; poverty, energy, and the economy; trump whether or not the children of our political figures are having personal problems. Moreover, unless there is some suggestion that the Palin's are mis-using their official resources, I cannot find a circumstance that requires the media to make this information public, and certainly not in the spiteful, hateful, and unnecessary ways that the leftist blogosphere and some media outlets (New York Times, in particular) have in an effort to discredit Sarah Palin.

In my view, we need to get to a place where we can actually make judgements about competency based on experience and stated positions on issues of import and not on some nebulous politics of personal destruction that have infected our public discourse. When did it become necessary to not just defeat your opponent, but to personally and professionally destroy them? How long can we sustain self-government in an environment where every foible, every decision, and every personal problem, becomes fodder for the blogosphere?

Friday, August 29, 2008

"Palinator" has Everyone All a-Twitter

GOP Veep pick, Sarah Palin, has the Internet buzzin' this afternoon.

Popular socnet site Twitter has been burning up all afternoon with the Little Known Facts about the Alaska Governor. The spontaneous Twitter-up has even spawned a new website.

Some examples:

Our personal favorite:

seanhackbarth Little Known Fact: Sarah Palin thinks Rubic's Cubes are too easy. She wants a Rubic's Dodecahedron.

You know that she must be a good choice when the liberal blogs are just apoplectic about her selection. They have been scrambling all day to find anything they can to diminish her credentials.

Over at the BOJoe campaign, we're guessin' it's Pepto Bismol time. This is going to be one fun 67 days, kids. Stay tuned.

Sarah Palin: She's tough. She's pretty. She's smart, and she hunts Moose.

Since the overwhelming majority of Americans are not even sure where Alaska is, it's no surprise that they may not know much about the Governor, turned Veep candidate, Sarah Palin.

The daughter of a school teacher, she's a beauty queen and star basketball player who hunted Moose with her Dad in the wee hours of the Alaskan mornings. She's married with five kids - FIVE! She's a small business owner and, Oh, did we mention that she's the Chief Executive of the largest State in the Union. Plus, she has that killer "take off eh, ya hoser" accent that will endear her to the masses. Authentic. Most important to us: card-carrying-life-member of the NRA.

In one, quick, flip of the fillet knife (gotta love those fishing metaphors), Sarah Palin has gutted the BO/Joe campaign. We can't wait to watch the Dems genuflect. No doubt the tortured contortions of a campaign that has just been de-nutted will be both interesting and satisfying. The schadenfreude of the moment is undeniable.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Eric Erickson on Sarah Palin:
Let's get this out here right now. On experience: Sarah Palin runs the largest state in the nation and Barack Obama and Joe Biden combined run their mouths. That's it in a nutshell.
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Some people just have a knack for knowing just what to say and just when to say it. Sarah Palin impresses us as that kind of person. Her speech today was interesting to say the least. Husband, Todd, is our new favorite guy. He races "snow machines" (whatever that is) and we here at the WPBCHQ hope we can get him over to spin up a few concoctions and talk racin', fishin' and what the heck they do during those long winter nights in Alaska - um, yeah. Five kids. Dumb question.

So welcome to the fray, Sarah. Oh, and Happy Anniversary, too.

This Just In ... McCain "VeepStakes" ***UPDATED***

10:34 EST
McCain Campaign confirms to FOX - Sarah Palin is the pick for Veep. (WPBC)

10:25 EST
:::BREAKING::: FNC says sources "backstage" at the Nutter Center are telling them the Veep pick is Palin. (WPBC)

10:20 EST
:::BREAKING::: Politico.com reports it's PALIN! (WPBC)

10:01 EST
UPDATE FNC has producer on the ground at Middleton Airport. FNC reports that plane landed shortly after 10 PM EST Thursday night and that "a woman in her 40s and two young men" deplaned and were picked up by SUVs. McCain has "hit it out of the park" on getting maximum anticipation w/no leaks. Complete steals the news cycle from Obama. Nobody is talking about Obama speech last night. Story continues to move at warp speed. Stay tuned ... (WPBC)

9:51 EST
Were in the World is Eric?
Sittin' here w/the Chica spinning up some blue fruity frozen stuff and I'm not seein' anybody talk about the Congressman from Virginia ... Is the silence deafening? Could it be the #yeswecantor team knows something and just isn't feeding the speculation ... Sarah Palin is a head-fake. Ridge is too toxic. Meg Whitman is too "corporate". CT Joe is too "democrat" of an independent and would be a yawner to most GOPers. Cantor: young, conservative, articulate, and can raise a boatload of $$$. Chica's in for a Mamosa w/Cantor, but really, secretly, wants a photo-op. We all have our reasons I guess. More to come ... (G.O.D./SWC)

9:28 EST
UPDATE Fellow Dumpster Divers! The Obama-mama-mia is being completely shut out less than 12 hours after his rather flat and uninspiring speech from the Baraclopoulis (or was it the Denver Post Office, not sure) ... the 24 minute news cycle has moved on to the GOP "VeepStakes" and the Gonzenator couldn't be happier. First, because it gives us an excuse to fire up the Blender and get a head start on the holiday weekend. Second, because we're all just dyin' to see who gets to collect on the WPBCHQ Office Pool. ($36.00, not chump change, baby!)
Stay tuned ... (G.O.D.)

9:20 EST
UPDATE FNC hawking AK Gov Sarah Palin as Veep pick. Chattering class all "a-Twitter" on the Palin pick ... Report: Bluey, citing @PoliticsNation says "watch Lindsey Graham" ... this reporter is non-plussed about Graham, but story still evolving. (WPBC)

8:19 EST
UPDATE ***Breaking*** PRIVATE AIRCRAFT W/AK Reg parked at Dayton area Airport. Report: Bluey, AK Gov Palin on short list. Fox reports Romney's out too. Speculation rampant among the "Chattering Class". More to come ... (WPBC)

8:02 EST:
This Just In ... Pawlenty out as VP pick. Spotlight on Romney, Cantor. More as information develops. AK Gov Palin may be on "Short List" ... Story is still moving, stay tuned. (WPBC)